I am constantly told ,
“You talk way too much”
Well , I am an extrovert ,
Hence , my personality is such.
But there’s a side in me
which always remains muffled.
There are thoughts which continue to remain ruffled.
I don’t know what to do to get these thoughts out .
Should I cry ? Should I howl ? Should I scream ? Or should I shout ?
This is the side which nobody can see.
This is my unknown side of The silent me.
These days , a new trend among
the teens is being high.
And the fact that they find it “cool” makes me shake my head with a sigh.
You will find teenagers doing hookah and posting it on social media .
You ask them about different kinds of high , they will speak like an encyclopaedia .
It is rising at a pace
Which is impossible to measure .
And the number one cause which is dragging youth into this hell is peer pressure .
At a party , while I am sipping colas , people my age are tripping with their drink .
“Are they out of their senses ?”
Their clumsy habits make me think .
They don’t know the problems they
will have to face after the “fun” .
The consequences race as rapidly as a Harley Davidson .
The fact , that people are harming themselves knowingly makes it more vague .
I often ponder over this question , “what will put an end to this plague ?”
Day by day our lives are becoming more complicated.
Our society is being divided into rich and poor, winners and losers, haves and have nots.
We are being surrounded by these invisible labels, which others put on us on the basis of well, nothing.
There was a time when waking up in the morning wasn’t something I used to look forward to. It was as if every one was having the time of their lives (at least on Instagram). People surrounding me being hit by the Cupid’s bow or winning pieces of metal day by day etc etc.
I used to think my eyes were there to see them winning, My ears to hear them getting compliments, My mouth to Congratulate them and my hands to clap for them.
For me, my life had become meaningless and insignificant, so much so that I used to think that I’m here to eat and excrete.
I was drowning in complexes and I needed someone or something to pull me out of this pool of insecurities.
I sought the help of my favourite teacher at school, with a SELF HELP BOOK in my hand she knew something was odd. I told her how empty I felt, I started using the prefix ‘un’ a lot , not for powerful words like ‘unapologetic’ but ‘unwanted’.
She was shocked and shortly she said,
“ betu you’re so pretty, so talented, you have good grades and good friends! Then what is the problem?”
I didn’t know then but I know now,
Imagine being invited to a buffet, where everything you ever wanted is kept right in front of you but when you taste it, the salt is missing. Will you enjoy it? Cherish it? Or will you curse it!
LOVE IS THE SALT OF LIFE.
Just the right amount and life seems so much wholesome.
I was suggested this famous self help book which told me to completely ignore and forget about all the negative emotions that reverberated in my head and to keep thinking about the life I wanted to have.
Being extremely gullible(and stupid) I started living in my brain 24/7.
It is easier to get rid of bad habits that we know exist for instance smoking but what about the bad habits that we don’t know exist?
I was also told to repeat five things that I want to change about myself, I did it and temporarily started to feel better about myself
But then oops, all the negative emotions I was suppressing since weeks came pouring back to me.
Drinking away the pain, smoking it up, distracting yourself with video games only increases the bills you’d spend on therapy in future.
PAIN IS INEVITABLE AND IT COMES WITH A TIME PERIOD.
The more you escape it; the more it chases you.
If you keep on forcing yourself not to feel the pain, the more you pretend
Trust me it gets worse.
Pretentiousness is a vicious cycle.
Once you start pretending, Your reality becomes foggy.
Cry away the pain, feel it reach all parts of your body but one day IT WILL LOSE ITS POWER OVER YOU.
The day the pain recedes is the day YOU WIN.
The weight above eyebrows automatically lifts, your senses of sight, smell, etc
Come back to you.
When happiness in its purest form embraces you, it is truly magical and it makes you believe ( not make-believe) that GOOD DAYS ARE ROUND THE CORNER.
Love
Prakriti.
‘I take a stand for equity. I take a stand for secularism. I believe in modernity and its facets. But I fail to abide by the former practically.’ Unfortunately the most common and dreary problem of all humans lies in the hypocritical notion regarding basic systems of pragmatic knowledge and sense of well being. We have countries openly denying gay rights, we have countries openly providing gay rights but acting maliciously towards its practice and then we have certain set of spiteful individuals within countries where there is legality, who choose to silently ‘accept’ any sexuality but the mind’s only conditioned towards favouring a single sexual behaviour and labelling any other as ‘abnormal’ is wholly justified, especially in India. This issue is one of the many incalculable matters most of us fail to attend to and register.
![ISKCON News: How to Avoid the Blame Game [Article]](https://iskconnews.org/media/img_versions/2014/02-Feb/Blame-Game%20F_slideshow.jpg)
Well, we encounter various pretenders and tartuffes in different types of situations. It is highly tiresome at this point to accept the claims made by adults and the aged that ‘ it is hard to accept change’- not untrue, but extremely galling. A very easy tactic we find to not to take up the challenge to accept change in the society is to blame the laws, the generation gap, the 1000 years old ‘culture’ created by mankind or simply the laziness and stubbornness which is not said out loud. But when many regressive laws have changed, then why not the attitude? All the law makers do not distinctly belong to this type of generation but they make efforts to bring about change, so why is there an argument about generation gap when we can simply look up to such personalities and try inculcating a similar mindset? As far as the ages old culture is considered, we can still follow righteous paths which emanated from the ancestral bloodline but it is highly necessary to do away with MANY primitive ideologies. Just because certain practices made sense till the twentieth century, it is highly unlikely and unnecessary for it to still continue in the current century and following. Whether the lord decides to not to allow women to enter temples or men decide to not to let ‘their’ women work or practice control over them- its all archaic. Whether homosexuality is impure and unnatural or asexuality a sham- its all archaic. Whether treating the vulnerable as how ‘they should be’ and accentuate the well heeled- IT IS ALL ARCHAIC. A vicious cycle discriminatory in nature in the social world is as harmful as a genocide per se, or it might lead to one. It must end as the ‘blame game’ can easily be translated as one. Our hands will be tied and we will be compelled to bow before the nihilistic, we will be slithering from one place to another asking for help, or we will be under the shadows of the pessimistic and the minimal gleefulness will also fade away…
It is discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.
Noel Coward
We may not come across vindictive pretenders as easily and directly. Such individuals tend to wear invisible masks, the outer portions covered with a myriad of modern thoughts, free will and compliance with all forms of social acceptance but the insides underlined with bigotry, dogmatism, prejudices, chauvinism etc. Such headless humans pretending to be someone you would want them to, just to gain the right amount of attention can be your closest friends, your dearest partner, your acquaintances, your co-workers, your family- near and distance etc. Either such persons are brainwashed and are willing to carry on with the process or some will be silent spectators trying to put a new mask on, for the sake of an ‘acceptable impression’. A few of us might see them every where but the real question to pose is- will we actually prepare to beware?
I rest my head on my pillowcase,
Waiting for the familiar face
Of Asleep.
as i wait to escape reality
and venture into worlds that i’ll
forget by tomorrow,
inside- i feel hollow.
i play songs on my phone
to silence my mind
and avoid confrontation
with my inner side
My own embrace comforts me
The warmth of my own hands keeps my head
above the water
Keeping my mind at bay, delaying my
self-slaughter
It’s peaceful here.
Quiet and serene
Quite a set scene,
If I do say so myself
(and I do.)
I am jumping with joy.
I can hum along to the song
and that’s all I care about.
That’s how i wish it could be forever
but
the songs in the background
come to a halt
the album was over.
the silence was newfound;
unwelcome and unforgiving
my own embrace is unsettling.
my cold hands shivering
and right in front of my eyes,
my room became an ocean
and my head was underwater.
I was drowning.
the absence of sound was hounding me
profound? maybe, but for now
despite the emptiness in my pitch black room
the light of the a.c.- blinking
my mind was racing and before i knew it
there i was. thinking.
I realised I was shivering
i took a short sharp breath
and brought my knees
up to my chest
and hugged them,
for i have only myself.
am i truly alone?
am i alone or am i lonely?
is my anxiety valid or am i a phoney?
am i doing this all subconsciously just for the attention?
i clench my fists and teeth in aggression-
I am drowning.
please help me,
for i need help.
i lie here, drowning
in myself
I personally have been victimised for being a vegetarian since time immemorial. As distressing as it sounds , each vegetarian in his or her life goes through erratic comments about THEIR choice of becoming someone whose habits,values,attitudes and cultures they’re willing to inculcate. Well , if I being a vegetarian have been ‘criticised’ and made fun of I wonder what my fellow VEGANS must go through.
I do not write this particularly to go against non-vegetarianism but yes, I do , assertively , convey this to all those who primarily tend to disrespect vegetarians and vegans – their life choices and the lifestyle they choose for their well being. I’m sorry but who has exactly entitled you to do so? Who has brought you up in this nauseous environment where being judgemental about certain aspects of an individual’s personal life is adequate and satisfactory?
No matter how hard this may seem , a person’s choice to not to consume dairy and animal products is somewhat astounding yet somewhat dreary at the same moment. We , as individuals have a hard time to maintain respect for such people rather we end up messing around and bring such pupils to a stooped level. The latter situation remains ridiculous and unnecessary.
As sick and tired as I am after listening to this bizarre and obnoxious argument I’d really like to express it here now. Yes , plants do too have feelings , they do possess some primitive cognition ( but they do not possess a higher level of cognition such as humans, they do not experience suffering). Plants do not feel pain in the scientific sense of world as pain requires stimulation of certain nerve cells that plants do not possess.
Vegans tend to protect animals from the suffering they tend to face on a daily basis for the sole reason to fulfil the food requirements of humans. Having an emotional attachment towards animals may form a part of the reason while many believe that all sentiment creatures have right to LIFE and FREEDOM as well. Avoiding animal products is one of the most obvious ways of going against animal cruelty and exploitation actively.
On the other hand, considerably lower quantities of crops and water are required to sustain a vegan diet as to save the environment too. A plant based diet involves only one third of the land required for animals’ crop grains.
Ultimately humans take away life. As many believe the animals ‘give up on their lives’ through consent or they’re killed once they’ve lived their lives fully , this doesn’t remain certain. Over 95% of the animals are killed prematurely. A few facts might give us a preview -:
Vegans make sure to not support the sufferings faced by the animals because at the end they are being killed for someone else’s sumptuous pleasures. Empathising with any non-human which is killed after staying in captivity should probably be considered the same when felt and suffered by humans , in my opinion.
The point of these extensive placement of facts and assertions purely depends upon my personal outlook towards a thing so vivid and sensitive as such. I am a proud vegetarian and I hope someday I develop a will so strong so as to overcome cravings for dairy products, and turn into a vegan. Everyone must have their set of reasons intact to not to switch from non vegetarianism but there is one thing required of each sane and logistical human , I.e to respect the choices one makes and to refrain from giving outrageous comments and feedbacks about the same when not required. Considering the fact that believing in a culture or religion which follows vegetarianism or not is unimportant for me , it must be by choice – a choice based on your will of doing something which suits the best of your needs.
I cant take this anymore
The voice in my head never shuts up. I know I need to work on my self esteem and find ways to boost my confidence.
It is final, therapy is the only way.
The next morning I see myself on the subWay
Exasperating whether this would work out or not but still I put myself together and get off the bus.
With hope beaming through my eyes, I see the board of her clinic. I step in and get my name registered.
I am told to wait a few minutes due to an ongoing appointment.
I take out my little diary, jotting down the points I’d like to discuss about and then suddenly I see a short, dusky girl visibly younger than me talking in Hindi with a distinct accent. The councillor waved her goodbye, rolled her eyes and smirked towards me when the girl left.
In a jiffy she signalled me in and the next thing I know was I was sitting in her office. She then starts her session but there I was transfixed on what her gesture meant? I asked her upfront. The lines on her face indicated her years of experience, being a great conversationalist was her prowess and in a persuasive tone she said, “ You know these villagers, who posses so much cash but not class! The ones that aren’t like us, who wear all brands but can’t form a single English sentence.” *laughs*
I was flabbergasted.
I reverted, “ so the criteria for a person’s class is if he can speak English fluently?”
She said, “ you know I didn’t mean it like that, forget this and tell me about your problems.”
I stood up and paced towards the exit gate.
I cannot learn self love from a lady who can’t love her roots.
On the way back, walking down the roads, I saw salons, many salons and I noticed something I hadn’t before. All the posters in these salons were of foreigners, because obviously fair skin is a prerequisite for beauty right?
I then land on the roads of Pondicherry(located in south India) just to realise the same obsession with fair skin even if it’s geographically impossible. If you have seen South Indian movies, you’d see the actors to be indigenous and actresses to be from foreign lands.
It’s because the public wants it, it demands a white skinned beauty to satisfy themselves.
If you’ve been to Europe, you must have noticed that the Italians/ French/ Spanish people choose to speak in their mother tongue and not give as much importance to English as much us Indians do.
WHY
They are PROUD of THEIR origins, culture and descent. They don’t cover it up and pretend to be something they aren’t.
You can’t be original if you kick out your origin.
Put a full stop on the act and learn about your origin, mother tongue, your descent and be PROUD of it.
PROMOTE your descent rather than ABANDONING it.
.
.
YOU WILL LOVE YOURSELF THE DAY YOU LOVE WHO YOU ARE.
Prakriti
There exists a void in all of us,
This void works like a vacuum which sucks all the memories, thoughts and feelings regarding that person we fell for. The void starts filling quickly by all the emotions we keep on pouring in it and we start feeling somewhat complete.
When we fall for someone our loneliness is replaced by all the thoughts that keep on popping one after another. Also the void which existed earlier is now all filled up and solidified.
It’s all rainbows and unicorns until that person decides to take off.
The first reaction we have is denial.
We deny to move on because we feel complete even without the person feeling that the memories are sufficient.
Love in its purest form being churned inside your soul which you aren’t ready to give up yet. The day reality sets in, you realise you have to move on. Oh moving on! The shell you filled because of him, it’s ready to be empty again. All the memories, feelings almost feels like a piece of flesh which has grown inside that made you feel complete.
But it’s time to scrape of the flesh to completely remove it from your system. It would hurt as though you’re under surgery without anesthesia. Once everything has been taken away, the vacuum will start operating again.
Prakriti.
India, the land of 30 Million Gods and Goddesses has become the hub of rapes in recent times.
The statistics tell us that in modern times the rapes have increased by an alarming rate but why is that? More and more children are going to school, the society is Finally modernising, then what is the pothole that the humans aren’t able to cover?
Centuries back, during the reign of kings and Queens, marriage took place at a very young age, when they were adolescents because we all know that our sex drive is at the maximum during Puberty.
As the society ‘modernised’ education pushed marriage to late 20s but what about the urges during puberty?
The girls Obviously are told to tolerate them because well girls are conditioned to tolerate almost everything around them. What about the boys? The boys who are uneducated and have dangerous weapons, technology which they use to satisfy themselves. They prey on girls who know won’t report Rapes because it’ll put a question mark on her character and the rapist would walk free.
It is a human tendency that whenever some one tells us not to do something we definitely make sure we do
So If we generalise the urges, openly talk about them and identify them to be normal and natural for both the genders
Then we would definitely be in a better place than now.
I hope our generation has the courage to talk about sex openly with our children and educate them to avoid unwanted pregnancies, rapes,etc.
(PS I’m not defending the rapist in any way, they are disgusting but I’m just highlighting the situation that revolves around it).
While the atmosphere across the length and breadth of the world remains tense, death tolls increasing almost superficially and the global economy officially in recession; COVID 19 though undoubtedly grave has at least this positive result: amidst the worldwide lockdowns and curfews, the environment has started healing itself.
When was the last time you heard birds chirping outside your window or were able to stargaze? with the two Brobdingnagian causes of climate change namely travel and transport and industrialization now at a halt, the pollutions levels universally have seen a dip. For instance, Ghaziabad the most polluted city in the world which not long ago observed such hazardous air that calling it hazardous was even an understatement (999+ on the AQI Index) at present, has the AQI of about 75 which falls under the ‘moderate’ bracket of AQI Index. While Ghaziabad remains just one of many examples worldwide the environment is seeing a bright side to all this chaos.
Restricting the list of benefits of global lockdown at the reduction in pollution levels would be equivalent of stopping a story at its introduction, with people now working from home: the intercontinental carbon emissions have dropped miraculously, there is lesser congestion of traffic and an improved balance between work and social life for the employees has been achieved. With numerous production processes now at a standstill the consumption of fossil fuels majorly coal has plummeted, lakhs of tonnes of fuel which would have otherwise been used for commutation is now saved. The ozone layer is healing itself, in few areas of the world several species of flora and fauna which for a long time now were unseen have reappeared.
Sadly, this paradigm is temporary, once the dust settles down and the world is back on its regular affairs the grave state of the environment will reappear. For instance, the Trump administration has already begun selling the carbon emission quotas which have been saved as a result of lockdowns.
Since this arrangement is neither rational nor economically viable we need to come up with a provision on the lines of the existing state of affairs. Perhaps, the employers can designate a day every week as ‘work from home day’ and we can inculcate healthy habits such as switching to greener sources of fuel, using public transport and minimizing the aggregate wastage. All these measures won’t be enough to secure us a green future, but would be able to secure us a greener future, if these provisions along with the fulfillment of international commitments such as Sustainable Development Goals 2030 are utilized we will be able to fulfill the objective of attaining for ourselves and our future generations a healthy environment.
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